The Screen Name Strikes Back

THE SCENE: A Barnes and Noble bookstore at a local mall. Ken, a 29-year-old working stiff and self-professed pop culture geek, stands in line to purchase a magazine. When he reaches the front of the line, he encounters CHECKOUT GIRL, a twentysomething woman running the register...

CHECKOUT GIRL: Are you a Rewards Club member, sir?

Ken: Yes, but I don’t have my membership card on me.

CHECKOUT GIRL: That’s not a problem; we can look it up. Can I have your phone number, please?

Ken: Sure. It’s 555-6789.

CHECKOUT GIRL: Alright, there you are. Okay, just let me confirm the e-mail address. Are you…Mr. Gnome Cop?

Ken: Um, yeah. That’s me.

CHECKOUT GIRL: Is that short for something?

Ken: Nope, it's pretty much exactly what it sounds like. It’s just a silly Internet nickname from ten years ago.

CHECKOUT GIRL: I see. Well, your receipt is in the bag. Have a great day, Mr. Cop!

Ken: Thanks.