Anatomy of a Movie Quote

Sometimes, you don’t luck out and get to have Keith David appear in your film. I know this is a bitter pill to swallow, but on the other hand, we have to accept the fact that there ARE other reasons to watch films… and in my opinion, one of these is to get saucy material to quote again and again until people tell you to shut up with the noise. Or better yet, join in and help you misquote scene after scene as a team effort. Good times! So, without further ado, here are 8 film quotes for you to use and abuse.

08. There Will Be Blood (2007)
Favorite quote: “If you have a milkshake and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw, and my straw reaches across the room and starts to drink your milkshake. I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!”
I know this one was played out about 13 seconds after the movie made oscar nomination status, but this film is sneaking onto my sweet list for the ages because of the whole “I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE” noise. Come on, you can’t tell me you saw this movie if you don’t feel a need to rush around your home or place of business pointing in a sassy manner at people and telling them that you’ll drink their milkshake, you’ll drink it up! Actually, I like to diversify slightly and quote other stuff about oceans of oil and hating people and everything, but let’s be fair and recognize what takes the quotation crown here.


07. Taxi Driver (1976)
Favorite quote: “Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There’s no escape. I’m god’s lonely man.”
Now, you have to understand that Taxi Driver is one of my favorite films, and that I really appreciate the crazy, ominous rambling that goes on throughout it. The fact is though, that you cannot quote this movie too much. For if you do, it won't be long before people will develop some serious concerns about you; accordingly, I cannot place this film THAT high on my “awesome to quote list.” And even beyond that insanity, well, let’s be frank about it, there’s not much in the way of “upbeat remarks” that are coming out of a quote from this film. So it goes.


06. Heat (1995)
Favorite quote: “Cause there is a dead man on the other end of this fuckin’ line.”
This film is in some respects, about a crew of criminals and the cop(s) that pursue them, but in others, it’s a collection of bad-ass dudes saying bad-ass things about getting wet when it rains and people having their heads all the way up great asses and, generally, trying to outdo each other in terms of bad-ass remarks. As far as I can tell, De Niro’s job isn’t so much to rob banks or armored cars as it is to out-quote the criminal element(s) of Los Angeles, and I can think of few better things for him to do with his time.


05. Blazing Saddles (1974)
Favorite quote: “Hey! Where the white women at?”
One little-known fact is that while I have a few go-to comedies in my collection, I’m not a huge fan of them, because, well, laughing and having a good time goes against my deeply-held belief that life is a miserable marathon that we have to endure before the sweet release of death, no matter WHAT Bobby Hill may or may not have to say about his “it’s okay to feel good” notion. So accordingly, comedies won’t have much of a place on my notable quotables list. That being said, Blazing Saddles is still quotable as all hell, what with all the loose homophobic talk, and the infamous number 6 dance. Huh, on second thought, I realize that it was probably a lot more acceptable to quote this film in 1974 than it seems to be in 2009. Oh well!


04. the Departed (2006)
Favorite quote: “I’m the guy that does his job. You must be the other guy.”
A better name for this film would probably have been Scorsese Project Where Wahlberg And Baldwin Trade Awesome, Sassy Quotes That Will Be Stolen By Ken. Though in all fairness, that’s a little too wordy, not to mention the fact that it includes a reference to a random guy no one cares about (aka Alec Baldwin). Anyway, it has given us quite a few gems even though it was basically a translation of a classic Hong Kong gangster film.


03. Glengarry GlenRoss(1983)
Favorite quote: “You've got a big mouth... now I'm gonna show you an even bigger one.”
This month at Premiere Properties, first prize for top real estate sales is a Cadillac; second prize is a set of steak knives; third prize is... you're fired. It's an ultimatum guaranteed to make one's blood either boil or run cold, and certainly it's guaranteed to put the four salesmen at the office at each others' throats. For 100 minutes Glengarry GlenRoss lets us see these men stew in their own frustration and impotence as they wrestle with the perceived injustice of the office management their jealousy of the one salesman on a hot streak, and their own inability to "close the deal." Maybe not the strongest, or most satisfying film, but a badass cast delivering badass lines is entertainment enough for me.


02. the Big Lebowski (1998)
Favorite quote: “Hey, careful, man, there’s a beverage here!”
We now come to the second (and last) comedy that I find should deserve a place on the list. Perhaps the fact that the Dude wanders aimlessly through an incredible series of adventures makes for great, random quotes in response to whatever situation you find yourself in. Additionally, I can tell you that pretty much anything Sam Elliott lays on you here - say, something about it being darker than a black steer’s tuchus on a moonless prairie night - works in most any situation you feel the need to narrate something. Maybe it’s just that I spend a lot of my time instructing people to watch out for my beverages and not to worry about nihilists, who knows.


01. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Favorite quote: “These people we wasted here today … are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we’re gonna miss not having anyone around that’s worth shooting.”
Sometimes, in my darkest moments, I like to think that god sent the archangel Gabriel (in that he’s generally the kind of guy that handles this sort of thing) to tell Stanley Kubrick to go ahead and make this film so that people like me would have something to quote OBSESSIVELY when we're was feeling blue. The catch, of course, being that I quote it when I’m happy as well.

So now you guys know what I’m always rambling about, because if you think I always have time to write original material, you are SORELY mistaken.